I wasn’t ready for it to end, wasn’t ready to pull my hands back from cupping her delicious ass, to remove my tongue from her body and hear the director say, “Thank you, we’re done here!”
I wanted to stay in the moment with Aria. I could feel her heart racing as I pressed her body up against my own. The swell of her breasts pushed against my chest, her tiny nipples were hard against my skin, pressing through the lace, begging to be touched, licked, and rolled beneath my fingers. The heat between her legs was fiery against my stomach, and I wanted to roll my hips and thrust into her so she could make no mistake about what I wanted. But Andy had called cut and suddenly everything changed.
We stared at each other, both caught up in the moment. She blinked and when she reopened her eyes, that last layer that had so easily melted away when we kissed was now back in place.
“So that’s it then?” She smiled weakly as she pushed herself up and leaned against the headboard. I leaned back onto my knees and ran my hands through my hair.
“Yeah… I think,” I mumbled, flustered and unsure of how to proceed from there.
“Honestly, you two have so much on-screen chemistry that I don’t even think we need to do it again,” Andy said. “We have a bunch of shots and angles already. We can do it again though, or maybe you want to see it, Jax?” he asked.
Typically, I was the kind to repeat and repeat until it was perfect, but everything about kissing Aria was fucking perfect. And it terrified me that if we did it again, I wouldn’t be able to control myself. I wanted more; I wanted to touch her in places that I couldn’t on-screen. I wanted to kiss every inch of her naked body, bury my face between the heated wet folds of her core, and feed on her juices. She had no idea how badly every bone in my body was dying to fuck her. Fuck her until she shook from ecstasy and screamed my name. I wanted her to lie in my arms and fall asleep just so I could watch her breath. This was a test. It had to be. The universe had dropped the most perfect woman into my lap and I couldn’t have more than a little taste. How fucking cruel. But perhaps I deserved it. Perhaps this was penance for all the women whom I’d ignored, after getting what I wanted from them. Or retribution, for all ways I was fucking up the band with my bad habits.
It could have been several things, but the only thing it was in that moment was over.
“Yeah, no… it’s all good. If you say we got it, Andy, then it’s fine,” I mumbled as I pushed myself off of Aria and handed her the coat that the wardrobe lady was holding. As she threw it on, I averted my gaze, both to give her privacy and to compose myself before getting up. My cock was hard as a rock and standing up now would be way too noticeable. I shifted in my pants, trying to discreetly adjust myself under the blankets.
“So that worked out, right? Nice that it was quick,” she said brightly.
Fuck me. She’s not feeling it.
“Yeah, uh huh…” I answered non-committally.
The room emptied out, and the crew needed to move the set, so we had no choice but to get moving.
“Aria?” I asked, trying to hide both the shaking in my voice and the obvious desire in my pants as I stood up.
“Yes?” she asked, looking up at me, her eyes bright and filled with sincerity. Her smile warmed me and sent calm and peace through my soul. I needed her to stay a little while longer.
“Any chance you want to grab a bite to eat after this is done? I still have another scene to shoot. I know you’re finished and they’ll want you to sign out, but maybe you’d want to meet me after?”
Aria’s smiled widened and held still for a second before falling flat. “I’m really sorry, Jax. Today was a lot of fun, but I have somewhere to be this evening. I’m going to have to sign out and get going.”
“Oh, okay, sure.” I nodded, disappointment flooding my veins. “Yeah, of course… no problem. Was fun. Hope this was what you expected.”
I sounded like a fucking moron.
“Yeah, it was great. So fun and a really awesome opportunity that I can put on my CV…”
She was mid-sentence when I just turned and walked away. Her CV? Fuck that shit. My mind was all messed up. I’d created something that didn’t exist. This music video was just a job to her, and that’s what it should have been to me, too. I was an idiot who let himself be fooled. I needed to use my actual brain and not my dick to make decisions.